Whoa! Hold your horses! This can’t be right. I have a self-published book, an Instagram profile, a Facebook profile, a Facebook page, a Twitter profile, a website and a blog?! How did this all happen? To me? The girl who devoured books at lightning speed but never thought she could ever, in a million years, write anything that other people would want to read? It’s all a bit overwhelming and mind-blowing to be honest.
Let me start from the beginning — almost.
As I’ve said before on my website, I grew up in a small town just outside Stockholm, Sweden. My parents still live in the house where I spent my whole childhood and my two brothers don’t live too far away. I was surrounded by as much love and happiness as I could soak up and had a pretty idyllic childhood. My mom and dad were always present, despite both working full time, and I was also fortunate enough to have my grandparents in my life, as well.
When I started school at the age of seven things changed slightly. I was bullied, mercilessly, for the next nine years. Why? I have no idea. But, I think that’s how it is for many victims of bullying. Maybe it was because I was quite far ahead of many of my classmates with regards to reading and writing. I was reading chapter books by the age of five and when I read out loud I put voices and intonation into my reading. Was that a reason for being bullied? It could have been, I guess, but I don’t really reflect on the whys anymore. It did leave its scars, though, and I’ve always believed I wasn’t good enough. For my friends, for anyone new that I met and even for myself. Just not good enough. In my head, anyway.
I still often struggle with this, but I’ve also been incredibly lucky.
I met my husband at the age of 21 and we are still very happy together. We have two wonderful, grown up children who are forging their own successful paths in life and I watch their progress in awe. They are my kids. I made them. I raised them. I shaped them. I molded them. Ok, so I had some help from my amazing hubby. But, we’re a team so I still feel I can say 'I did it'. For all those who have children, you will know exactly what I mean, and for those who don’t, I’m sure you’ve seen it with kids in your circle of family and friends. It’s pretty awesome however you experience it. It’s from this, my kids, my husband and my family and friends, that I’ve drawn strength. For them, I’m good enough, even if I struggle to think it myself.
So, when the raising kids part of my life was pretty much over, and I started to have way too much time on my hands, I began to feel a bit down. I didn’t feel as needed and wanted anymore. I think they call it empty nest syndrome. Even with our family business I just wasn’t busy enough and had way too much time to think. Eventually, I realized I had to pull myself out of that funk and challenge myself. As I love reading and had always hidden a dream of writing a book myself, somewhere deep in my heart, I decided to just do it. Remember how I said I wasn’t good enough? Well, that was bouncing around in my head like a ricocheting bullet the whole time as I started writing. I had to keep telling myself I didn’t have to show it to anyone. Ever. I did have to tell hubby what I was doing, though, as he started to get a bit suspicious of what I was hiding on my computer! When I told him he was so supportive and actually asked why I hadn’t done it sooner. Really?!?
A few months later I had finished The Sentinels - Saving Her and published it on Amazon. Was it perfect? Not a chance. Was I happy? Absolutely. It could be so much better but I’m still proud of how it turned out and I know that if I had held on to it any longer to try to make it perfect it, would never have seen the light of day.
I will go back to it in the near future and re-edit. But, for now, it stays out there and will soon be joined by its sibling; Saving Him.
Throughout this whole writing journey, which, surprisingly, has only lasted 18 months, I have learned so much. I’ve made some wonderful new friends and discovered a whole new world of creative living. My family have been nothing but
supportive, if a bit surprised, and my friends have read my book, given me feedback, cheered me on and threatened to tie me to a chair if I didn’t keep doing it. As I wouldn’t want to disappoint any of them, or be tied to a chair, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing, to the best of my ability.
A few months later I had finished The Sentinels - Saving Her and published it on Amazon. Was it perfect? Not a chance. Was I happy? Absolutely. It could be so much better but I’m still proud of how it turned out and I know that if I had held on to it any longer to try to make it perfect, it would never have seen the light of day.
I will go back to it in the near future and re-edit. But, for now, it stays out there and will soon be joined by its sibling; Saving Him.
Throughout this whole writing journey, which, surprisingly, has only lasted 18 months, I have learned so much. I’ve made some wonderful new friends and discovered a whole new world of creative living. My family have been nothing but supportive, if a bit surprised, and my friends have read my book, given me feedback, cheered me on and threatened to tie me to a chair if I didn’t keep writing. As I wouldn’t want to disappoint any of them, or be tied to a chair, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing, to the best of my ability.